Good Morning?... Fuck You!
Oh lord. Mornings here in the R**** Household are so stressfully funny. Today I didn't go to school. At first I was bummed, but, the feeling soon lifted itself, and I made my time worthwhile. Now I'm not just going to let this little "charade" pass. I'm tired of being tired of this shit. Let me explain..
Now my mornings, they begin with me always staring at my clock (which is always an hour fast for reasons that are feebly retarded but yet make sense.) Then I usually hear my father go to work, which can be either him yelling about the air conditioner being on too low, or the front door slamming. At this moment one of two things may happen; peace and quiet, or a light can come from under my door, followed by a middle-aged, "portly" woman singing acapella. Then a hard knocking on my door, "Dahnnito Lindo! Despierta Se! Foonko-Woonko! Moonko-Poonko!" (And at this I arise, pissed because I'm not a morning person, and the last thing I want when I wake up, is to see a jolly person, much less a jolly person singing.)
I wake up, leave my room, and shower. (I hate showering right after I wake up, but then again I hate being dirty.) So what do I do, I turn on the shower, and I stick my hand out to see if it's too hot or cold. (Usually cold because my father like to have his hot showers, but when he leaves the bathroom you could see the steam poor out from the open door (you could sometimes see Satan himself).
When I'm in the shower, I'm so lazy! So fucking lazy, I seriously won't even open my eyes, and feel around for everything. I always douse my head last, I hate the feeling of water in my hair and on my face when I just woke up. When that time comes, I take two bars of soap (well you know when you use up a bar of soap to a point where it's flimsy, that's what "two bars" I'm talking about). I don't use shampoo, I use soap. I don't like the feeling shampoo leaves on my hair, so I use soap.
After showering comes brushing my teeth and then the fun part! Blow dry! Hell yeah! I like to mold my hair into so many shapes and sizes. I could brush it back and look mexican, or brush it forward and look mexican! The possibilities are endless! The looks, are.. just mexican. But still, it's fun! Then it's off to change.
This is how I dress myself in the morning. You see I don't believe in "putting your pants on one leg at a time". Fuck that. I'm a man (a very stupid man). Anyway, you might be asking yourself, "How does a style-savvy, sexy-freak-of-nature like D***** R**** choose his wardrobe impressing everyone and everything with his en vogue style and en vogue..ness?" (Or then again you might be asking yourself, "How the fuck does a bum like D***** with no class, no style, fuck that no shame, dress himself in the morning? I swear the nigga must be blind, retarded, and suffering from sex different sexually transmitted diseases. Homeless people make him look like shit!")
Anyway, I walk in my room, smel everything that's clean and not clean, look at it, put it on, jump once (twice if I'm suspicious), and wear it. Simple as that.
Then it's "go-time". When everyone is out the door and I'm the last one out (this is where this morning happened). Now I always need to get my things together, things like my wallet, my fucking ID, some cash, cd player, and a pick for my hair. (And it's always to my great luck that all these items are scattered randomly around the house) I one time found my cd player in my refridgerator, my wallet in the medicine cabinet, and something in the oven in my kitchen. (Yeah I do some pretty weird things before I sleep in the night.)
Now I must have taken about one minute, and as soon as I left outside, the car was gone. I walked forward a little bit to see maybe if they had driven up somewhere, or even getting the mail at the box but.. nothing.
I was alone(they left me), I was hungry (no breakfast), I was tired(I woke up), I was shocked(wouldn't you be?), I was cold (it was cold outside), I was crying(something in my eye), I was angry(because I was alone, hungry, tired, shocked, cold, and crying).
Whatever! (I had my valley girl moment when I walked into my house.)
They called me telling me I was gonna stay home.. Pfffffffft fine! I don't care! "Yeah ma if you see the house on fire when you get home, don't be surprised."
(And the rest of the day was blah.)
God, I'm so tired of being tired of this shit..
I'm not sleeping anymore.. maybe then I'll get ready earlier.
Now my mornings, they begin with me always staring at my clock (which is always an hour fast for reasons that are feebly retarded but yet make sense.) Then I usually hear my father go to work, which can be either him yelling about the air conditioner being on too low, or the front door slamming. At this moment one of two things may happen; peace and quiet, or a light can come from under my door, followed by a middle-aged, "portly" woman singing acapella. Then a hard knocking on my door, "Dahnnito Lindo! Despierta Se! Foonko-Woonko! Moonko-Poonko!" (And at this I arise, pissed because I'm not a morning person, and the last thing I want when I wake up, is to see a jolly person, much less a jolly person singing.)
I wake up, leave my room, and shower. (I hate showering right after I wake up, but then again I hate being dirty.) So what do I do, I turn on the shower, and I stick my hand out to see if it's too hot or cold. (Usually cold because my father like to have his hot showers, but when he leaves the bathroom you could see the steam poor out from the open door (you could sometimes see Satan himself).
When I'm in the shower, I'm so lazy! So fucking lazy, I seriously won't even open my eyes, and feel around for everything. I always douse my head last, I hate the feeling of water in my hair and on my face when I just woke up. When that time comes, I take two bars of soap (well you know when you use up a bar of soap to a point where it's flimsy, that's what "two bars" I'm talking about). I don't use shampoo, I use soap. I don't like the feeling shampoo leaves on my hair, so I use soap.
After showering comes brushing my teeth and then the fun part! Blow dry! Hell yeah! I like to mold my hair into so many shapes and sizes. I could brush it back and look mexican, or brush it forward and look mexican! The possibilities are endless! The looks, are.. just mexican. But still, it's fun! Then it's off to change.
This is how I dress myself in the morning. You see I don't believe in "putting your pants on one leg at a time". Fuck that. I'm a man (a very stupid man). Anyway, you might be asking yourself, "How does a style-savvy, sexy-freak-of-nature like D***** R**** choose his wardrobe impressing everyone and everything with his en vogue style and en vogue..ness?" (Or then again you might be asking yourself, "How the fuck does a bum like D***** with no class, no style, fuck that no shame, dress himself in the morning? I swear the nigga must be blind, retarded, and suffering from sex different sexually transmitted diseases. Homeless people make him look like shit!")
Anyway, I walk in my room, smel everything that's clean and not clean, look at it, put it on, jump once (twice if I'm suspicious), and wear it. Simple as that.
Then it's "go-time". When everyone is out the door and I'm the last one out (this is where this morning happened). Now I always need to get my things together, things like my wallet, my fucking ID, some cash, cd player, and a pick for my hair. (And it's always to my great luck that all these items are scattered randomly around the house) I one time found my cd player in my refridgerator, my wallet in the medicine cabinet, and something in the oven in my kitchen. (Yeah I do some pretty weird things before I sleep in the night.)
Now I must have taken about one minute, and as soon as I left outside, the car was gone. I walked forward a little bit to see maybe if they had driven up somewhere, or even getting the mail at the box but.. nothing.
I was alone(they left me), I was hungry (no breakfast), I was tired(I woke up), I was shocked(wouldn't you be?), I was cold (it was cold outside), I was crying(something in my eye), I was angry(because I was alone, hungry, tired, shocked, cold, and crying).
Whatever! (I had my valley girl moment when I walked into my house.)
They called me telling me I was gonna stay home.. Pfffffffft fine! I don't care! "Yeah ma if you see the house on fire when you get home, don't be surprised."
(And the rest of the day was blah.)
God, I'm so tired of being tired of this shit..
I'm not sleeping anymore.. maybe then I'll get ready earlier.
posted by Darzee at 8:10 PM
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