One of those days..

This weekend should have been one of the best weekends ever. But I would be lying if I admitted that..
I feel like quitting, and giving up.
I try my hardest, I'm so tolerant, I'm too nice.
How can you be liked by everyone, and not accepted because one doesn't..
If only they knew, if only..
(On the way from the park today, which was moderately satisfactory, me and Jayselle were talking. About things here and there, and how I was feeling displeased and disheartened..)
All I can do is smile politely, and avoid hostility.
..
(I almost cried today.. right there in the park.)
Jayselle told me not to give up though.. it'll work out right? (Oh fuck me if I'm not spelling his name correctly.)
..
I need help.
Can anyone help me?
Maybe I should just be like myself, and fight. Be "in-your-face"..

(I hope no one makes stupid fucking comments. I hope anyone that does makes a worthy and "unquestionable" one, where they show consideration and not just questions. Like "What's wrong?" and some stupid bullshit because lords know I want to talk about it..)

I told my parents I lost my wallet today because if I told them before I couldn't take Nina and Darryl out.. I "virtually" lied to them. But that's the way it is..

Rebellion.

Rebellion?

I'm not going to jeopardize anyone's goals, anyone's future..
I try my best to be respectf-
(I'm going to stop writing now..

..because maybe I'm just having one of those days..)

"And so ends a legacy.."

Since my last entry I have done alot to bide my time. My Birthday passed, a trip with an old friend of mine.. Alot has happened..
(I now have a "Flickr" working.. I'll be posting pictures often with it recording these memories..)
Things seem to be pointing up. Everything has been going fantastic. I'm on "cloud nine" looking for "cloud ten".
Okay, let me regain my self-control and be calm.
Today, marked a day in history. Today around the nation, millions of people are crying. And the crying will go on tomorrow, and for the rest of the month. Let me explain..
Yesterday plans we're on for the premiere day screening of "Star Wars Episode III: Revenge of the Sith". The plan was to join 9 people (even though some cancelled), at a Denny's. Of course this would mean skipping school.. but who cares, some things are far more important.
Today we all met at Denny's, ate, but then my sister called. (I picked her up, but thankfully the movie didn't start, that end I needed some family to witness what greatness I was to watch..) And Andres! He came with me! I was happy to see another fellow "real fan" be able to watch the life changing cinema with me! Finally someone who understands Star Wars as I have! (Moving on..)
We arrive to the theater, but not enough seats were saved, so me and Jessica sat in the back, from a good angle mind you. And then the paradigm of divinity appeared on blank white screen before us. I laughed, I pouted (dissappointed because I was the only one yelling and screaming with joy), I smiled.. it was surely a chapter of my life. I thought to myself, "this is the way to begin your eighteenth year, this is the fucking way to live a new life.." Star Wars, an epic that stretched almost 30 years, is now over. The last episode. No longer will there be speculation on a "new episode", no more daily check-ups on the next Star Wars. The last time you see the myth that was "Anakin Skywalker".. (It was genius of George Lucas to do the last three episodes first.. I applaud him greatly..)
I cried at the end, (well I wasn't really crying I shed a tear or two) and with that, my life ended. My friend Eddie said it himself, "Now there's nothing more to look forward to", and Eric exclaimed, "That's it it's over, I'm going to go kill myself now".. In fact the only thing that made me happier then seeing the last episode of a love story I devoted almost my entire life to..
was to share it with the one I love the most..
"And so ends a legacy.."

"Shoestring Theatre"

The play I have been staying everyday after school for is now over. It's a shame, I had alot of fun doing it. The last play of the year, and it was successful. I'm very pleased with it's results. I'm proud to be part of all of it, of the entire cast, everyone did their best.
In fact, I feel so good, I think Im going to change my contact lenses (I think it's been a couple of months now).
Yesterday night I celebrated with Darryl and Nina. We had fun here and there, drove all the way to bayside to get mother's day gifts. Which turned out to be..
Neenz- A Hallmark card with Snoopy as a cameo;
Darrylitah- A bottle of Axe bodyspray and deodorant;
Me- A Hallmark card and two green stress balls with the "micro-fiber" beans;
We took pictures of the entire night, including some of the "Junior Jaguar" (which I'm plotting about at this moment)..
Despite what everyone wants to do with the "Junior Jaguar", I'm not exactly sure what's going to be done.. I'm just gonna let Neenz keep it..
(A couple of suggestions were, "Guy, we wrap it in bacon, douse it in grease, cut the head off and hang it in front of her office", and "Look give it to me, and I'll prep it up on a crucifix and nail it to the office door", and my favorite "Dude, let's smoke it!")

An Imitation of Life

Well such occassions bring large crowds, large groups of people together, one can't help but be happy, and show great appreciation. Yesterday was one such occassion.
High school prom. A "unforgettable experience", despite what some people may say. The one night where it's acceptable to dress nicely, and be out late. The one night where nothing matters, where formalities are abandoned, and just celebrating life is what is consciencely acknowledged. I liked it. Although I would've loved more of it, it's best that some things are kept the way they are (despite getting lost for an hour, and not having anyone's number, locking my car keys in the car, and having a headache)..

I loved it.

(I keep thinking this to myself..)
"I could at least tell her I love her.. thats all that matters really.."

..thats all that really matters.

"una mujer, a belleza do mar, do sol, do todo.."