My Arms had Withdrawals Today, and I Smiled and Said..

..

A man got out of prison after 27 years because he was falsely accused of being a serial rapist. A county commisioner commits suicide after so much news coverage on him, generally being bad news. 29 school bus drivers got arrested for distributing drugs amongst the students. And an entire county of teachers are being questioned on their qualifications towards their careers in the school system. And lastly, "Operation Peter Pan" is about to make the catholic church much less credible than it already is, apparently priests just can't keep their hands to themselves..

Maybe since I'm from New York, I'm not surprised by any of this.. but this "notion" is soon going to be untrue and I'll find myself saying "Maybe since I'm from planet Earth, I'm not surprised by any of this"..

(I'm a big fan of The Wallflowers.. I literally love every song Jakob Dylan has written.. to me he's like an omnipotent version of his father.. his song "Babybird" actually made me cry, because I could relate to how it feels overpressured and expected to do so much, but always come up short.. to deal with the dissappointment and feel such a great shame of not living up to your expectations..)

I enjoyed this week. I didn't do much, but I was content and peaceful. I went looking for jobs, Pacsun isn't hiring until december, Waldebooks isn't hiring at this time (but I personally think she doesn't like my appearance, a dark skinned chinese boy that speaks spanish), Domino's needs drivers, and Bath and Body Works is hiring early September. Oh, and EB Games is too rich for my blood..

"..Mama don't you send me no love this month, 'cause my heart is all used up. And mama I wanna come home. I wanna get back home. So look out into the morning rain, 'cause I'm on the mourning train.."

"An equal oppurtunity employer", now what the fuck does that mean? Every job demands job experience, and I have none. All I did was volunteer work for a church that I later renounced my faith from and shocked a public with. "Mrs. R****'s son renounced his faith? But how?" Maybe because I'm alot more intelligent then the mindless dolts occupying the most unholy place of worship I've ever seen.

Ergo what I was saying previously, "equal oppurtunity employer". Now, judging by the statement it must mean that this employer gives equal oppurtunity to all. Maybe to new unemployed teenagers looking for their first job? I refuse to work at a Burger King contributing to the obesity of society with their BK Value Menu. McDonald's is even worse! I want to work for something that isn't a complete contribution to the decline of mankind.

"..I'm bringing down my suitcase now. I'm shining up my good shoes brown. 'Cause no one knows my name. Now no one knows my name. So look out into the morning rain, 'cause I'm on the mourning train.."

I was driving her home, and you could feel a sense of maturity. You could feel in the silence that we were grown up. That we were becoming adults, that we've arrived at that plane of reponsibility; I've felt like this alot lately.. Everyone once in a while sits up straighter, their shoulders back, their chin up, and blink with ease and almost with a subtle pride. You feel overwhelmed with prepared anticipation.

I know we all have to grow up sometime, and I think I have, but I try to digress as a means of not becoming a tight-ass like mosts adults are. Everyone is going to start college pretty soon, and I know they're scared, but I'm not, I don't think they should either. This is a chance to prove yourself, a chance to establish your right to live and survive. I'm not going to be one of those people that go back to my high school and see my teachers, try and relive the past and miss it all. I'm not going to kiss anyone's ass.

"..Oh mama look at me now, oh how I wish that you were around. So many friend I wish that I had right now.."

My sister goes to school next week and so does Darryl. I guess I'm going to have to pick her up from now on.. maybe Darryl too. I'm probably going to get alot of "hi's" and "hello's" but I'm not realy going to care for them. Just basic boring chatter "What college are you going to?", and "I'm going to miss you", when I'm thinking, "Well I'm not really going to miss you, I'll probably think about what ever happened to so-and-so for about have a second and quickly forget about you to be honest"..

Haha Darryl's going to school!

"..Mister you can't hurt me now. You got my girl still don't know how. But it don't matter now, no it don't matter now. So look out into the morning rain, 'cause I'm on, I'm already on the mourning train.."