Never an Angry Person..
I awoken, looked at the time.. it was 9:00..
I awoke again, it was 10:00, and I had remembered I had plans with Christina to go job hunting and get her mom a birthday present. I decided to rest a little bit more because I had just gotten off the phone with Jessica a couple hours earlier. I dozed off..
I woke up again, it was 11:00. I called up Christina quick. I was worried she might've been mad. I called her to let her know I was changing and on my way to pick her up. I smelled some shirts, slapped on pants, sprayed deodorant. I didn't shower. I didn't brush my teeth.. When your 18 years old with no job, you don't have to worry about much, especially when your first week of college was the next week.. I was worried I wouldn't make it to pick up my little sister and my friend Darryl form school in time.
I raced down the palmetto, straight to her house after briefly arguing with myself about stopping for a drink. I decided to stop for a drink after I picked her up. And I showed up at her doorstep.
Well not really. She locks her gate because in her part of town, people don't exactly stop at your front door to drop off fresh baked cookies, or fruit cakes..
So she comes out, and we both get in the car. I try not to talk much because I was careful of my bad breath. Don't speak to exhale, don't yell, don't talk face to face.. This is why I needed a drink so bad.. and so I turned into a gas station on Biscayne maybe one or two blocks from the mall..
..But let's side track..
As I was driving her, I had brought up how Indhira had broken up with Alex and all. (Indhira is this old habit that died hard.. I have no feelings for her anymore, but I still care. She was above all a good friend of mine..) Christina spoke to me about how she spoke with Alex and all about it.. Why did I bring this up?
I had a dream..(which I've been having alot of lately..) It was about Indhira. What's most dominant in my memory about it was Alex, the encompass of all things evil and misunderstood..(in my dream he was making voodoo doll children that came to life).. and Indhira was missing, and I was looking for her. I was the only one with her cell number, and she would only talk to me. She was hurt, crying about something, so she ran away and I had to search for her.. but I never found her.
..After telling Christina about my dream I go get something to drink at the "Chevron" I think it was.. I get the 2 dollar Iced Tea. Fuck. If there's something I can't stand is spending two singles when I have change in the car. I bought it anyway. The black guy at the counter gave me the wrong change I noticed, and he took long enough to give it to me. But I brushed it off, (so is the "Generation X" epidemic that spreads in america..) and went back in the car. I was pulling out of the gas station..
..and this is where I had to collect my thoughts and formulate a summary that understandable enough to be comprehended for lamen purposes..
"Did you bitch at him?.. I would've bitched at him.. I don't care if he didn't understand english, just the expressions on my face would've been enough.."
"Wow dude. Umm.. did you get a ticket?.. Whose fault was it?.. That's bullshit, all cops are dicks man, how could it be both your faults?.."
"Hi you've reached Chris, I'm not by the phone right now but if you leave a message with your name and number I'll be sure to get back to you.."
"Hi I'm sorry, you've reached Mrs. R, I'm not at the phone right now, please leave a message, thank you.."
"Babe my tia.. What? Are you alright? Oh my god!"
..I had to be recorded over the telephone to make my statement for the investigator.. he asked me some standard questions.. but before all of this I had to explain what happened.. and I did. I was shaking the whole time, it was probably because I was nervous.. but then again I had felt cold.
"I pulled onto the second lane from the gas station going north. I wasn't going fast at all, at the most 30. Umm.. I saw him making a left going east. His car was stationary in the middle of the intersection, on the median. I had the green light so I had the right of way. There was also a red mustang behind me a couple of feet in the next lane to my right. I wasn't until about 15 to 20 feet that he began to make his left. He stopped in the middle of the road, I guess he misjudged what lane I was in and I broke hard. I hit the brakes and turned the wheel to the left to avoid collission, but I ended up hitting him on the passenger side. We pulled over, and waited for the police he came about ten minutes later.."
..It happened 11:44 a.m. on Biscayne Boulevard and 191 Avenue. Christina was okay. I was okay. No injuries, and no one got hurt, like I said I didn't go that fast. The airbags didn't even go off.
It all happened fast, but I remember it all pretty well. At first I felt down, dissappointed in myself.. not because I was going to get yelled at when I was going to get home, not because my car was probably going to get taken away.. It was because Saturday would begin the great test of faith. Saturday would spell out the beginning of a new change. And I only had two (maybe three) days of happiness.
You know when you have you life flash before your eyes when you endure a possible "life threatening" situation? Well I didn't have that. Instead I had something else that goes to show how much I value my own life when put by comparison.
Jessica, flashed before me. I was down because I might not be able to see her the next day, or maybe even the rest of the week. I endured alot of yelling, and when I mentioned leaving the next day to see her I endured even more yelling. Lucky for me, I came out victorious, but on poor terms. Like winning a war and losing your entire army, that bend where the happiest day of your life quickly turns into the worst, and you didn't even see it coming.
Nothing mattered. Is there something wrong with me? Is there something wrong about not having my life flash? Instead I had her flash before me. Is it love? Foolishness?
"Yeah umm.. the other driver says he had the green light to turn left, and said you ran a red."
You could imagine the face I had when my insurance claims investigator told me that. I'll take a polygraph, I'm certain I had the green. Christina is certain I had the green. The red mustang that passed me was certain that there was a green light..
"Where is my mind?"
I love you Jessica.
"F.P.B."
I awoke again, it was 10:00, and I had remembered I had plans with Christina to go job hunting and get her mom a birthday present. I decided to rest a little bit more because I had just gotten off the phone with Jessica a couple hours earlier. I dozed off..
I woke up again, it was 11:00. I called up Christina quick. I was worried she might've been mad. I called her to let her know I was changing and on my way to pick her up. I smelled some shirts, slapped on pants, sprayed deodorant. I didn't shower. I didn't brush my teeth.. When your 18 years old with no job, you don't have to worry about much, especially when your first week of college was the next week.. I was worried I wouldn't make it to pick up my little sister and my friend Darryl form school in time.
I raced down the palmetto, straight to her house after briefly arguing with myself about stopping for a drink. I decided to stop for a drink after I picked her up. And I showed up at her doorstep.
Well not really. She locks her gate because in her part of town, people don't exactly stop at your front door to drop off fresh baked cookies, or fruit cakes..
So she comes out, and we both get in the car. I try not to talk much because I was careful of my bad breath. Don't speak to exhale, don't yell, don't talk face to face.. This is why I needed a drink so bad.. and so I turned into a gas station on Biscayne maybe one or two blocks from the mall..
..But let's side track..
As I was driving her, I had brought up how Indhira had broken up with Alex and all. (Indhira is this old habit that died hard.. I have no feelings for her anymore, but I still care. She was above all a good friend of mine..) Christina spoke to me about how she spoke with Alex and all about it.. Why did I bring this up?
I had a dream..(which I've been having alot of lately..) It was about Indhira. What's most dominant in my memory about it was Alex, the encompass of all things evil and misunderstood..(in my dream he was making voodoo doll children that came to life).. and Indhira was missing, and I was looking for her. I was the only one with her cell number, and she would only talk to me. She was hurt, crying about something, so she ran away and I had to search for her.. but I never found her.
..After telling Christina about my dream I go get something to drink at the "Chevron" I think it was.. I get the 2 dollar Iced Tea. Fuck. If there's something I can't stand is spending two singles when I have change in the car. I bought it anyway. The black guy at the counter gave me the wrong change I noticed, and he took long enough to give it to me. But I brushed it off, (so is the "Generation X" epidemic that spreads in america..) and went back in the car. I was pulling out of the gas station..
..and this is where I had to collect my thoughts and formulate a summary that understandable enough to be comprehended for lamen purposes..
"Did you bitch at him?.. I would've bitched at him.. I don't care if he didn't understand english, just the expressions on my face would've been enough.."
"Wow dude. Umm.. did you get a ticket?.. Whose fault was it?.. That's bullshit, all cops are dicks man, how could it be both your faults?.."
"Hi you've reached Chris, I'm not by the phone right now but if you leave a message with your name and number I'll be sure to get back to you.."
"Hi I'm sorry, you've reached Mrs. R, I'm not at the phone right now, please leave a message, thank you.."
"Babe my tia.. What? Are you alright? Oh my god!"
..I had to be recorded over the telephone to make my statement for the investigator.. he asked me some standard questions.. but before all of this I had to explain what happened.. and I did. I was shaking the whole time, it was probably because I was nervous.. but then again I had felt cold.
"I pulled onto the second lane from the gas station going north. I wasn't going fast at all, at the most 30. Umm.. I saw him making a left going east. His car was stationary in the middle of the intersection, on the median. I had the green light so I had the right of way. There was also a red mustang behind me a couple of feet in the next lane to my right. I wasn't until about 15 to 20 feet that he began to make his left. He stopped in the middle of the road, I guess he misjudged what lane I was in and I broke hard. I hit the brakes and turned the wheel to the left to avoid collission, but I ended up hitting him on the passenger side. We pulled over, and waited for the police he came about ten minutes later.."
..It happened 11:44 a.m. on Biscayne Boulevard and 191 Avenue. Christina was okay. I was okay. No injuries, and no one got hurt, like I said I didn't go that fast. The airbags didn't even go off.
It all happened fast, but I remember it all pretty well. At first I felt down, dissappointed in myself.. not because I was going to get yelled at when I was going to get home, not because my car was probably going to get taken away.. It was because Saturday would begin the great test of faith. Saturday would spell out the beginning of a new change. And I only had two (maybe three) days of happiness.
You know when you have you life flash before your eyes when you endure a possible "life threatening" situation? Well I didn't have that. Instead I had something else that goes to show how much I value my own life when put by comparison.
Jessica, flashed before me. I was down because I might not be able to see her the next day, or maybe even the rest of the week. I endured alot of yelling, and when I mentioned leaving the next day to see her I endured even more yelling. Lucky for me, I came out victorious, but on poor terms. Like winning a war and losing your entire army, that bend where the happiest day of your life quickly turns into the worst, and you didn't even see it coming.
Nothing mattered. Is there something wrong with me? Is there something wrong about not having my life flash? Instead I had her flash before me. Is it love? Foolishness?
"Yeah umm.. the other driver says he had the green light to turn left, and said you ran a red."
You could imagine the face I had when my insurance claims investigator told me that. I'll take a polygraph, I'm certain I had the green. Christina is certain I had the green. The red mustang that passed me was certain that there was a green light..
"Where is my mind?"
I love you Jessica.
"F.P.B."
posted by Darzee at 11:39 PM
1 Comments:
the man said it was red cause he wanted ur money. two college students sittin` in a niice lookin` jetta drivin` down biscayne blvd. lemme stop in da middle of da road. bam!. we hit him..he lied, he lost- he was at fault. u lost- u were at fault, in da end u also won. insurance coverin` all damages. ur okay. im okay. jessica's okay. ur car...a lil messed up =]
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